Keepin' Things Shiny

I usually clean my wedding rings once a week on Sundays before church.  They look all snazzy (i like that word, just don't know if it's a real one) and I love to look at them shine in the light.  If you look closely, you can see reflections in the gold.  As we travel Wednesday to Wednesday, living life with other couples, and seeking to strengthen our marriages, God reminded me of the process by which I clean my rings.  I let them soak in a jewelry cleaning solution, then, with the brush provided, I clean all the cracks and crevices that have accumulated dust, dirt, lotion, soap scum and hair.  I then rinse them and buff them with a towel to get them shiny.

God gave me this simple truth...Our marriages need soaked and brushed, so as to get all the gunk out, rinsed and cleansed, and buffed and shined.  Is this a one time chore?  Of course not.  In order for my rings to stay clean, I have to wash them regularly.  In order for my marriage to stay clean, I have to take necessary steps, communicating with Mike every day, setting aside time for "us" (not with kids or other couples), talking through and not stuffing hurt feelings, places where we don't agree, and things will help us grow.  Praying together has been one of the staple things that Mike and I as "one" can't do without.  It had been awhile since we had had an official date, but last week, we took time out, carved time out, stole time for us, and it was a great way to "shine up" a marriage that we cherish and want to fight for every day. 

I encourage you...take the well deserved time to shine up your marriage!  The blessings are immeasurable.

manhood part 2

Ok last week, we talked about, or really asked the question: "when did i walk through the door of manhood?"

Asking this question to some of the men that are willing to share their life with me, has been an absolute blast! The answers, comments, suggestions have been all over the place. You can imagine some of the responses; like, when i first started to drive, or when i started making money; there were some that half joking, but probably more serious stated, the first time to be sexually active......but as we really centered down on the question, especially when we walk out what this looks like to communicate to our sons, and for that matter our daugthers on entering womanhood an eiry silence falls over the landscape.

It's a silence men, we must break....so let me share what i believe to be my walking through the door to manhood....not arriving mind you, but growing each day into the man God has designed me to be through Jesus Christ.

It was the day that i started to accept my decisions, regardless of outcome and stop running from them, stopped making excuses in order to protect an image, i thought the world had of me, stopped being a pretender....NOW HOLD on....men hear me here.....listen to what i'm not saying...do i still make crazy decisions? YES! are all of my decisions right? well depends on if your asking me or my bride hahahaha....What i am saying is that you/me are exactly who God says we are! a co-heir; an ambassador; redeemed; cleansed; reconciled; filled with the Holy Spirit; Men we are HIS.

So there is a day coming soon, and deb and i will walk this out with our daughter,Kinsey, at graduation this coming May, then Madison 4 years down the road and then with Michael 8 years down the road with our tennis ball soaked walkers hahaha...heck no...we will be running with them...

and here is what will happen....the day will be a celebration as deb and i physically stand in front of our children upon graduation and communicate to them that God is in front of us and He has been leading us to lead (train Proverbs 22:6 NIV)you for the past 18 years. Today your mother and i now come beside you, as you now take ownership of your decisions, with God leading you....we are here for your support ALWAYS, but it is God's face you must seek first to determine your path. (Psalm 105:4 NIV)

so when did your manhood start? Not sure...cool, i wasn't either until talking with some brothers, do you have some men that you are sharing life with? If so, you understand how cool this fellowship is. If not and your are desirous to share life with other men, who are ready to learn what manhood is really about, let us know....groups are forming! look forward to your response

Starting to Love and Respect

Happy Friday!
The marriage class that we lead on Wednesday nights is diving into the book/workbook Love and Respect (click for link) by Emerson Eggerichs.  We are so excited about this and would love to have anyone come and join us.  We meet at 6:30 each Wednesday night at Belle Aire Baptist Church in Murfreesboro, TN.  Room 201

Here are some of the points that we discussed about RESPECT and some words we associate with it when we think about it.




***fear; provider; security; honor; revere; have value; high regard; submission; boundaries; subjection; trust; authority; earn it



The point was made and likened respect to a fire. It only takes one burn for us to gain a very healthy respect for it. We love for it to warm us, cook for us, and provide light for us, but we also must honor it and have a respect for the boundaries that it sets.



The question was posed to the men and women of what they would rather have, love or respect. The premise of the book is centered around Ephesians 5:33 that says that women need love, and men need respect, but it was cool to see the diversity of the group where we had some men admit that they'd rather have love if they had to choose, and women who said they'd rather have respect.



Here were some of the phrases that I got from the first chapter of the book that men have described to have felt disrespected…

"he felt like she could get along fine without him"

"he was made to feel insignificant as if he didn't matter"

"felt judged for failing to act in a certain way"

"unacceptable"

"using the words 'YOU NEED' to…"

"feeling put down by the demeanor of tone"

"acting as if she were my mom"

"constantly criticizing, complaining…not good enough"

Men, ask your bride if she feels like you show her love, and women, ask your man if he feels respected by you. If the answer is "yes", go one step further and give an example to one another of why you feel or don't feel this way.

Happy Weekend!!

manhood/respect

Happy Monday folks, this question/thought is for the hairy ankle boys/men....sorry ladies, even if you haven't taken the winter coat off the ankles, this is for the guys hahaha.

Men, as we continue our journey this week, we will tip toe into the land of understanding what respect means to not only us, but how do we help communicate this area of our lives with our spouse. How do we receive and tender love to our brides in a manner that as Paul shows us in Ephesians…..as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her….(Ephesians 5:25 ESV)

a question that I have been rolling around for awhile, came to light Sunday during the message, our pastor delivered that addressed the very scripture we have been living for over a year. (Ephesians 5:22-33)So ask yourself this question: "when did I march into manhood, or when did I become a man?" For those of us that have sons, how will we communicate/teach them they "have arrived" This has been cool conversation for us, as I also asked deb, "when did you feel you became a woman" I would love to hear what God lays on you….

love em up!

keep us together

over the past few days, we (debby and i) have been preparing for a weekly wednesday night class that centers it's discussion on marriage. This has been an absolute blast as over the past year, we see folks slowly start to loosen up, take off the "church mask" and share that life isn't always "fine" or ok, or good.....so this week we will start to dissect what love and respect means to us. But as i was looking up the various definitions of love in the greek language, this crazy song pops in my head....see if you remember it...

Love, love will keep us together....
Think of me babe whenever some sweet talking girl comes along....

YEA, you remember.that...I know, i know...crazy.....your welcome,you will be singing this for the rest of the evening. So i run down that trail for a bit and ask; does love really....i mean does the love that deb and i have for each other, is that really,.... do i believe that just my/our love is what will hold us together? What is that love? How deep? and then this verse came to mind.

Colossians 1:15-17 (NIV) He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation v16 For by Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth; visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him v17 He is before all things and in him all things hold together.......

And so if God is love.....love shown to us through Jesus Christ......and Jesus is the one that EVERYTHING is held together......then what holds us together is our love for Christ? So the more i understand and grasp the love, the security, the self esteem, the confidence that comes to me/us through Jesus Christ, then my/our love for each other grows?......is held together?

So back to my thought trail after the song worm....singing her song, don't mess around you just gotta be strong...

ooopss so sorry....The answer is a tremendously big YOU BETCHA YA...Thank you Jesus for loving us first and the love my bride has for You, and how that love for you overflows to me.

Do you think Captain really likes that hat? hahaha. have a fun day gang!

Welcome!

Debby here...I just wanted to thank you for visiting our blog.  Our purpose is to live in community with some that we see weekly, and others that we may never see.  Our heart is for people, marriages, and how we fit into God's big plan for us!  I learned over the weekend at the Passion Conference in Atlanta (I'm too old, but had the privilege of going with my 18 year old daughter Kinsey) that this life is not about fitting God into our lives, but wrapping our lives around His.  I've had that thinking backwards for a long time.  We lead a marriage class at our church on Wednesday nights, and so we will be using this blog to post things, issues, questions from that, but we will also be using it to request input from you. 

We started class last night, and first off, we posed the question to get couples thinking in how they would rate their marriages.

1) ER-your marriage is flatlining…no pulse…in serious need of some resurrection

2) Critical Care-you've made it to the hospital, but your marriage is in serious need of treatment…it could go either way at this point.

3) Check Up-You're just in need of a routine check-up. You are coming in to make sure everything is working. You have a few sputters and bumps, but you are taking your vitamins and actively working at your marriage.

4) Spa-it's all good…Your marriage is strong. You are communicating. Working daily at making your marriage a priority, knowing that your work is never done.

Where is your marriage?  How did it get there?  We'd love to hear from ya!
Blessings!!

First time

Mike here...so it's half time of the Texas /Alabama game and this is the first time to contribute to a blog or post a blog...so does that make us bloggers? YES...alright! Not sure how many men out there are bloggers, but guys this will be a tool for us to communicate as we learn how to lead our families through Jesus Christ