Good News

Hello friends,

Ok let's see by show of hands, who has their Christmas shopping finished? Wow quite a few of you, alright way to go, you must be fly lady christmas cruisers. I know that Debby participates in the fly lady structure each year and this structure or gameplan lays out the necessary steps to take in order to get all of the "stuff" surrounding Christmas done before December 1. Debby has done this for the past several years, heck she has a notebook where she will write notes for the next year. The notes will remind her of activities that were memorable, or she'll jot down a note in her handy dandy notebook to send out cards to everyone the following year, or she'll remind herself where the various wrapping paper, candles, wreaths are tucked away in the attic (my personal note is to watch out for those nails i always run into each year). The notebook is a reminder of some exciting moments, moments that are defined with exclamation points.



Good News is the reason for the season folks!



Luke 2:10-11 (NLT) but the angel reassured them. "Don't be afraid!" he said. "I bring you good news of great joy for everyone! v11 The Savior--yes, the Messiah, the Lord--has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David!



And when we look up the meaning of the word gospel, guess what? I know I know I know yea it means: YES GOOD NEWS, GLAD TIDINGS...go to your concordance or blueletter.org (type in gospel and get ready to celebrate)



Look what Jesus was preaching when he entered into a town Mark 1:14 (NLT) Later on, after John was arrested by Herod Antipas, Jesus went to Galilee to preach God's Good News. v15 "At last the time has come!" he announced. "The Kingdom of God is near! Turn from your sins and believe this Good News!"

The reference is just one of many that state the GOOD NEWS or GOSPEL depending on the translation that you are holding.

Hey here is an idea let's go back and read the birth accounts in Matthew,and Luke....let's count the exclamation points that provide emphasis, excitement to the statement and as we recall the reason for that particular exclamation point, recall some of yours!

This has been a year filled with good news for debby and i as we have seen marriages heal before our eyes through the power of Jesus Christ. And we have watched some not make it. The difference is the center piece of this season JESUS CHRIST! When we continue to learn how to place HIM at the center of our everything the exclamation points start adding up......

Let's continue our celebration not only throughout this month, not only throughout next week, but for the rest of our lives, let's continue to help each other to live out the gospel (good news) of Jesus Christ each day in our homes, in our vocation and in our communities..... Have a Merry CHRISTmas! and we pray for some exclamation points in your life.

love em up!

work out

Hello my fellow belly rubbers,

Yea, did we put on the feedbag this weekend or what? Whew, I mean!.... walks around the block before hand and afterward couldn't quite calm down the need to undo the top button of the pants and get some breathing room. hahahaha. I pray that everyone had a wonderful weekend spending time with family and friends.

Black Friday is behind us and that brings us to today, which has been labled Cyber Monday. Wasn't familiar with that one until this year. This time of year we also start to think about resolutions, we start to ponder areas in our life that we desire to change, improve or eliminate. Getting in shape or working out will probably cross the minds of many over the holidays as we step back up to more feeding troughs in the name of celebrating Christmas. Last chance "work out"! Yea for the Biggest Loser fans, you know those words. The day before the big weigh in. Has the work you put in on the treadmill offset what you put in our mouth (foot not included, although low calorie when done)?

What is it about working out that sets off the various emotions? I mean even in the body of Christ we can take these two words that are in scripture and run with them. Let's take a look together. Go get your Bible........uh what? oh, you left it over there by the refrigerator, next to the leftover pecan pie....what? Yes the pecan pie juice will stain your pages, that's ok, grab it and come on.....hey on your way back will bring me a piece of that pound cake (yea, i know smarty pants, it's called pound for a reason)

Ok now that we have our appetite built up and fingers adequately licked, lets turn to the book of Phillipians. God is using Paul to coach us up. Flip over to chapter 2. Go ahead and read the chapter and we will come back and chew on God's word instead of this cake. You ready? Good.

Since we are talking about working out, jump down to verse 12

Phillipians 2:12 (NIV) Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed-not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence-continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, (emphasis on work out mine)

Ok so for those that have walked into a gym, workout facility, spa, whatever the place you intentionally visited with your mind set on working out, you understand the fear and trembling hahaha. Focus on what the verse does not say. The verse does not say work for. Here's a question "why do you go to the gym to work out?" Yea, the work out brings about an outcome that is good FOR me. We go in looking and feeling like sluggo and come out a few weeks later feeling like Captain and or Ms America. Look at verse 13 with me....v13 for it is God who works in you to will and act according to his good purpose. Man o man what a motor to have indwelled in us (those of us that have said yes to Jesus). I can hear the t.v. announcers now

God's love in this person is: more powerful than a locomotive: able to leap tall buildings: we have the technology we can rebuild him, has no need to fear underdog...is strong to the finish cause i eats me spinach;

You get the idea. When we forgive each other in the name of Jesus Christ we are working out our salvation, when we help our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ we are working out our salvation; when we allow ourselves to be helped by our brothers and sisters in Christ we are working out our salvation.

Have a you had a good work out lately?

Thankful

Oh my, we are staring Thanksgiving right in the face aren't we? Wow! So crazy how fast the days zip by. Stop for just a moment.....really when you read the next question, let's stop and reflect for a few minutes and then we can come back to our conversation.

How do I know when I am thankful?

Hey wake up....we were only supposed to ponder for a minute or two, I heard some deep breathing out there. So what did you come up with? This time of year, we do take pause and express more than we typically do areas in our life that we are thankful for. This weekend we had the opportunity with part of our family (predominantly debby's side of the family) to have a pre thanksgiving thanksgiving. My mother in law had a great idea. She asked each person to share what we were thankful for and we couldn't say family. Yea I know..... for some as soon as this is mentioned the squirming in our souls starts ROARING as we ponder what we are going to say. I mean we can't remember what anyone else is thankful for because we are so focused on trying to come up with something "good" to say. We desire to speak out something so good that Saturday Evening Post would want to paint a picture of the words we just spoke, you know sky opening, jaw dropping kind of stuff.

But as I reflect on that moment, it really was neat to listen to family members state that they are thankful they are loved, to hear some say they are thankful for a place of employment, to hear others their thankfulness that tests are behind them, or others that are thankful for laughter, all thankful for health, still others that are thankful for the ability to work, then that one that is thankful that their time is over to tell everyone what they are thankful for.

This year on Thanksgiving both sides of our family will gather at our house, man we are going to have a house full and it is going to be an absolute blast! Yes, there might be some of those awkward moments in our discussion, you know those moments when you have already talked about the weather, the Braves, college football, how is work going, there are some we ask about their walk, some we don't (praying to press through this one) but we are yoked through blood and marriage, but most importantly the ones that will gather on this Thursday are yoked through Jesus Christ! My fellow brothers and sisters in Christ will be rousting about on Thursday on Claire Court.

So back to our question. When do I know that I am thankful? I don't know about you, but part of my answer is this huge smile I have on my face as I think of my family and the feeling of excitement that brings. And yes even the feeling of awkwardness I am thankful. Know that you are part of our family. Debby and I give thanks each time we think of you and we praise God for you sharing life with us. Let's join together and live out the following.

Colossians 3:15-17 NLT And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are all called to live in peace. And always be thankful.Let the words of Christ, in all their richness, live in your hearts and make you wise. Use his words to teach and counsel each other. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.And whatever you do or say, let it be as a representative of the Lord Jesus, all the while giving thanks through him to God the Father.

love em up!

elmers glue vs. gorilla glue

The world these days constantly tell us that we have to have it together ALL the time. We know bad things happen, but we brush it off like dust and put it in the trash and never to be thought of again. There is going to come a time when the Elmer's glue that we try to hold ourselves together with is going to fall apart. God created us to share with each other whats going on in our lives. He has a stickier, more durable Gorilla glue and He wants us to be in the palm of His hands while He glues us back together one hurt at a time. Its about time we all stop using the elmers glue and start being satisfied and trustworthy of our one true artist that molded us and never wanted us to have it all together.

In my school there is alot of comparing ourselves with other people and complaining about the way we look or our personality. When I put on my "mask" I here God whispering to me asking, "Why am I not enough for you?" I think the world is so unsatisfied with themselves that if we are satisfied with the way we look we are considered selfish. When we pretend to be okay and stuff all of our troubles and not going to God, isn't it like saying God can't help us with our troubles? I find myself reapplying this elmer's glue that we all have. When I think of what God says to me about His glue being better, I picture a salesman saying, " Its bigger, better, more durable and healthier for you and everyone around... the best part is, its FREE!!" and us saying to Him, " theres gotta be something wrong with it if its free??" The thing is, He paid the price for a WHOLE lot more than the "gorilla glue" He paid for EVERYTHING!! He is the Gorilla glue, the main thing that holds us together is The King Of The Universe and we think our glue is better. No way!!!!!!! Jesus Christ wants to be the center of our lives, broken or not; He accepts us exactly the way we were made. So lets all together take off our masks and give our troubles to

Mr.Glue!

out on a limb

Happy post candy grabbing night!

Did everyone get their duffle bags filled up with their favorite candy? Yea, Michael and Madison came home and spilled out their spoils from the evening, like a pirate breaking open that long lost treasure chest! Arrrrrgggghhhh yea matey, off with thee hand that touches me reeses cup.....ARRRRGGGhhhhh...

Speaking of arrrrgghhhh.....i know that some of us have said, thought, murmered, whispered, yelled something worse when we are betrayed. Ah you know that statement that has flown out of our mouths AT someone, or out of someone's mouth AT us.

"I CAN'T believe YOU did that, what were you thinking? You couldn't have been thinking. Do you know what i did to get you that position? I went out on a limb for you man."...blah blah blah blah blaaaah

I know just typing those words brings back some vicious thoughts. I'm sure that most of us at one time or another have "gone out on a limb" for someone, or have had someone "go out on a limb" for us. Like when i was first married, bullet proof, had a real job and went to borrow some money to buy our first car. I've got to get what? a co-signor.....well i never!?...don't you know who i am?....uh my name is mike bivins, THAT'S WHO i am (and we immediately start to shrink down to umpa loompa size) uh deb, uh we need to call my daddy or you dad and have them "go out on a limb" for us.

Some limbs are more treacherous than others. Ever been asked to write a letter of recommendation for someone you barely know? Or need someone to write one for you and your mind is scanning the files to determine who is "safe". Other limbs are sturdy, like the one, when we walk into an area of known expertise when someone asks for your input. Chest out, feathers spreadout, YES, I'll help you minions. Your mind is now going back to when someone cut the limb out from underneath you and when we have done the same, giving us insight to the various limbs. There is one limb that does not, has not, will not fail!

John 12:32 (NLT) And when I am lifted up on the cross, I will draw everyone to myself

Luke 23:34 (NLT) Jesus said "Father forgive these people, because they don't know what they are doing.....

Look what my/our redeemer did and gave from the limb He went out on.

2 Corinthians 13:4 (NLT) Although he died on the cross in weakness, he now lives by the mighty power of God. We, too, are weak, but we live in Him and have God's power--the power we use in dealing with you.

Did everyone see that? WE TOO are weak (no one had to tell us that one hahaha) but we live in Him and have God's power.......HOLY SPIRIT within us...that's the engine to continue to go out on limbs for each other...Galatians 6:10 (you'll have to go look that one up) Happy reading!

New Life, Change

Happy leaves changing color time in Tennessee! WOW the colors are starting to pop out there. Speaking of popping out there, didn't you enjoy the thoughts from Madison on the last post? So cool! Thanks for spending some time with her.

Ok go grab your Bible and open up to Romans 6. I'll wait on you.........hey while you're in there will you grab some cheetos and bring those out....oh yea, good call, the orange cheese dust would be a mess on our pages.....then grab the powder donuts.the white dust will blend in yummy...Yea yea...nothing like a little snack as we are feeding on the Word. As i eat the donuts, read chapter 6....

That will fill you up won't it! The word of God, not the donuts silly goose.... I just love the 3rd verse when he asks or states....(reading from NLT)

v3 Or have you forgotten that when we became Christians and were baptized to become one with Christ Jesus for we died with him? v4 For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we may also live new lifes

Yes, i believe we as a body of Christ do forget that we are united with him. But how? How do we or how can we ever lose the fact that we are as verse 3 states one with Christ Jesus. Maybe we are listening to the voices in our noggins, that whisper that tells us "your not worthy". Or maybe our unwritten rules we secretly judge others by, we have offended, therefore rendering a verdict of guilty to yourself. Or could it be that we really don't know who this Jesus is?

My personal experience from life and experience in counseling over the past few years 100's of folks.....it's a combination of 3 statements mentioned above. Oh there are others, but for the most part we forget the following. Go on down to verse 8 in Romans 6: And since we died with Christ, we know we will share in his new life. Ah there are some eyebrows raising a bit yea, but wait a minute, put that other donut down and start flipping over to the other verses that serve as a reminder. Since you are in chapter 6 go ahead and read verse 13. Now go ahead and take in the other verses below.

John 3:6 Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life (new life)
1 Corinthians 15:22 Just as everyone dies because we all belong to Adam, everyone who belongs to Christ will be given new life
2 Corinthians 5:15,17 He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them.....v17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun.

Hey where are you going? Ok wait a minute. There are 23 total verses that tell us about this new life, let me share a couple more before you go get a drink of water to wash those donuts down.

Colossians 3:1 Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realties of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God's right hand

OK OK one more, man this is SO incredibly GOOD!

1 Peter 1:23 For you have been born again, but not to a life that will quickly end. Your new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living word of God.

Thanks for the reminder Lord!

i know i know i've got powder on my face, i'm soaking in the change baby hahaha. love yall

passion

Happy October to everyone!

The chill is in the air. For most of the Bivins clan, we enjoy cool mornings, that warm up a bit during the day and then the crisp, cool evenings, that allows us to wear long sleeves with our shorts. Put's a pep in the ol step!

Speaking of pep in your step, you are going to enjoy the following post from Madison (ML)Bivins. ML is a freshman in high school, our middle child, and just it is a joy for me to be her earthly daddy! Love ya ML and proud of ya, now go love on some folks through your writing.

PASSION
My passion; what i love to do is work with pre-schoolers. The love they have for you right when they meet you, the trust they have for you when your just a stranger, and most of all; there is no judgement in there eyes. They can play and hug the kid who smells bad and i think back to high school and how everyone is putting on perfume and cologne twenty-four seven so they won't be rejected. Lastly, they are the most secure people on the planet. When i see pre-schoolers, i see a hint of Jesus still fuming. With no judgement, and being so secure in themselves, personally i see God. Until the world contaminates them into thinking they have to look the best or say the right the thing all the time, or even just trying to impress the world into thinking they are worthy. If you ask me, i think its a bunch of junk!! What we don't even realize is that we ARE worthy.
Im so tired of being judged and criticized for what I wear, what i believe in, or what i say. I think thats why I love them so much because I know they will excpt me the exact way I am. They dont care if im smelly or ugly, all it is, is a full embrace of hugs assoon as I walk through the door.
My passion, what i ; LOVE TO DO, is be with pre-schoolers!

where is my voice?

Ok, this next confession will age me (which is ok...46 is the new 26..no really it is) but for those that are country music fans, you will remember "the voice" Vern Gosdin, for those that aren't country music fans and you are saying "Who?" that's alright read on....This guy had a few hits that come to mind. "Set em up Joe" and my personal favorite of Vern's is "Chiseled in Stone"

Enough of memory lane, another cool thing we do with our voice, is when we loose it. Allergy season has hit middle Tennessee which means crazy stuff flying in the air causing noses to run like faucets or set up like someone has poured concrete in your nose while you were snoozing. My wife, Debby, and son, Michael, battle this year round. I kinda like it when Debby's voice gets a little raspy from the allergies hahaha. I like the Barry White voice that is created after a MTSU game, where we have been cheering our guts out for the big Blue on a Saturday afternoon and that Sunday morning after the early squeaks and sqwaks, the voice turns into "you'll never find another love like..."

But what has happened when we feel that we have lost our voice? I don't mean due to the aforementioned circumstances, but when we feel no one is listening. What has happened to us, when we ignore or we stop expressing what we think, when we stop expressing what we believe, when we stop sharing our emotional state with each other. Are we really that sensitive? Or have we become that fearful of each other?

Could it be a bit of both and some other ingredients? Let's take a look together. Think of the place you worship and your spouse. Supposed to (southern term)be the safest place for us to share and express our troubles, supposed to be a safe place we can express our thoughts, our beliefs, our concerns, our passions, our dreams, our goals, our desires, our wants, our successes, our failures, our celebrations, our triumphs, our EVERYTHING. Yet what we experience, is that the place of worship and/or our spouses is where we lose our voice first. We cover up.

We have allowed something major to happen to our relationship in both arenas when we dare not mention where we are, or we don't dare mention a different opinion, in fear that the person (spouse, fellow church member) in front of us will not agree or listen to our position, or thought. But then, when we do share, our spouse or fellow family of faith member attempts to discuss/argue away your/my position. I find it funny, that when the person I am speaking with desires for me to accept/listen their point of view, but when an alternative is offered it is sometimes scoffed at.....hey wait a minute....i didn't scoff......i did? my turning away while you were talking....oh no no no...I was, I was tying my shoe, ...yea....what? what deep sighs? what do you mean my eyebrows went to the top of my head? uh I...

ok ok i scoffed! hahaha

God accepted Moses voice. Look at Exodus we remember this scene from our days of watching the Ten Commandments with Charleston Heston on the movie of the week, with the rabbit ear antennas and my brother getting the aluminum foil. Chapter 3 Moses hears a voice (the real voice) coming from a bush, oh by the way the bush is burning. (Love the way God communicates with us). God is calling for Moses. You with me now. Aluminum foil on the antenna, good reception? Good! let's see what happens together.

Moses responds in Exodus 3:4 NLT When the Lord saw Moses coming to take a closer look, God called to him from the middle of the bush, "Moses, Moses"
"Here i am!" Moses replied.

God then shares with Moses that He has heard His people groaning. God goes on to give specific instructions and words to Moses that Moses is to relay to God's people in order to lead them out of slavery and into the promised land. Moses protests (amazing i know, we would never do that would we,....yea right, this is for another post) Exodus 4:1 But Moses protested again, "what if they won't believe me or listen to me? What if they say "The Lord never appeared to you"? God does what God does and equips. God gives Moses various signs that He will utilize through Moses in order to lead the people out of slavery. So we remember through our reading that God hardened Pharaoh's heart and would not let the people go.

God continues to send Moses back in to Pharaoh, same results, Pharaoh says no. Chapter 6 we read some words from Moses that we "feel". Verse 12 But Lord! Moses objected. "My own people won't listen to me anymore......

You can almost sense the confidence leave the room with this statement, yet God urges Moses on through his own fears and Moses goes back, and goes back and goes back. Well you know the rest of the story.

What's the rest of your story? Regain your voice folks with yourself and each other through the resurrection power of Jesus Christ! Believe in the leading of the Spirit (the Voice of God), share this with your spouse, communicate with each other, express to each other your EVERYTHING. Let your voice be heard with Ephesians 5:21 as your backdrop Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ

waiver

Don't we love it when we can take a stand, when we feel so good, when we are so confident, when we just know what we know, that come hell or high water we aren't budging?

YEA, me too! What are some of those "things"? Politics, favorite college football teams, our favorite baseball teams. Hey what about at work, when we are in the conference room with all the other folks "trying" to impress the boss and the others with our knowledge and we just won't budge on an issue and then everyone starts to nod in agreement and although your outside eyes are not as big as saucers, your inside eyes and your voice are saying; "are you kidding, look they are agreeing with me, what the.....WOW...OH MY GOSH! I'm winning, i WON! YES YES, you then go back to your cubicle and spike the stapler. Sweet moments uh? but short lived until the boss calls the next meeting to determine implementation. hahaha.

When do we waiver? What is surrounding those moments when we just are quite so sure, that we remain silent, or in those moments when we are in the same conference room, a topic is offered and you realize uh oh, not prepared, and then all of a sudden that paperwork you brought in, is incredibly interesting and your eyes can't be pried from it, in order to keep from making any eye contact with anyone that may ask your opinion....we then go back to our same cubicle where the spiked stapler sits, and pull ourselves into the fetal position. hahaha a funny bunch we are.

Let's go peek in on Abraham for a moment. Yea, father Abraham, who had many sons, many sons had father Abraham, I am one of them and so are you....are your arms swinging yet? So let's all praise the Lord right arm, left arm....

God and Abraham (Abram at the time) have this discussion, I mean that in itself is so cool, literally talking with the Creator, and their discussion is revolved around children. Yea, Abraham is concerned that his aging body along with his aging wife's body Sarah will not have an heir, they won't have anyone to leave their stuff with, they won't have anyone to carry on the family name. I mean can you blame the guy? He is in his late 90's still traveling with daddy, Terah, everyone around him seems to be doing OK and then God steps in and says in Genesis 15:5 NLT Then the Lord took Abram outside and said to him " Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That's how many descendants you will have!" v6 And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith.

At the tender age of 100 Abraham and Sarah give birth to Isaac....oh just a footnote, Abram believed, and it was credited as righteousness, remember that, yet Sarai (not Sarah yet) took "things" into her own hands in order to provide what God said He was going to provide, by having her maidservant Hagar sleep with Abram. The outcome of that action produced Hagar. Folks Abram was a willing participant. But here is what is SO COOL about our God.

Romans 4:20 NLT Abraham never wavered in believing God's promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought Glory to God. v21 He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises. v22 And because of Abraham's faith, God counted him as righteous, v23 And when God counted him as righteous, it wasn't just for Abraham's benefit. It was recorded v24 for our benefit, too, assuring us that God will count us as righteous if we believe in him, the one who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. v25 He (Jesus Christ) was handed over to die because of our sins, and he was raised to life to make us right with God.

Are you kidding me? Go grab your workmates staplers and start spiking them baby! This is HUGE. You mean? wait a minute,....but Abraham did.....Sarai sent that maidservant over and they.......but that bad decision didn't effect his approved standing with God (meaning of righteousness)?

You want me to read what again? Romans 4:4-5 and the verses above again? Oooookaaaay!?

Wowzie, I see now that my faith (strongly held belief) that Jesus Christ is raised and that by the empty tomb and my belief in that empty tomb, God satisfied his wrath in regards to sin, that I am then made right (justified) with God and united with Jesus Christ.

So why would we ever waiver in our faith, but yet we do? Or do we? i admit that i did, but my waivering was caused by my lack of belief. My faith was based on my actions not my reaction to the gift (grace) of Jesus and the empty tomb. This my friends is called freedom!

take a chance

Boy this will open up some memory vaults for folks......ABBA came out with this song "Take a chance on me"...come on you remember, don't act like you don't remember what you were wearing in the late 70's early 80's. I'll go ahead and age myself, i graduated high school in 1982, so I remember the fashion....uh oh....wait a minute...the stuff we were wearing in the 80's, I'm seeing the kids wear now. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! OH MY GOSH.....This is GREAT, well for some, but boy the years are flying aren't they folks.

In our earlier years, we were willing to take chances weren't we? Especially when it came to asking a girl out. Man the nerves, the asking the potential date's friends 5 kazillion times "do you think she'll go out with me" "did she say she would?" Ok here I go....."are you sure?" Will you go already, we do go and the yes is delivered for some, but let's be honest some said no. But either way, we would never know until we "took the chance." The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat hang on one response, and so with the chance comes acceptance or rejection. Both incredible emotions to travel through and one in particular, rejection, we start to avoid at all costs, and hence we stop taking chances.

Did you see what just happened, in our scenario above? We have the opportunity to be accepted and or rejected, but when i "try" to avoid being rejected, we then give up the chance of being accepted and isolation creeps in.

We see this in our marriages. Before we said "I do" we were flying around for each other with reckless abandnon. Grabbing for life with each other in every shape, form and fashion. Didn't matter what we were doing, as long as WE were doing it. Then careers creep in, hobbies creep in, children EXPLODE in and our willingness to take chances with each other are given to work, hobbies, children and we look around and notice no one's asking me to capture life anymore.

Some would say that Jesus, our bridegroom, took a chance. And i can see how they would think so. Here is the creator of the universe coming down in the form of man, placing himself on the cross, shedding His blood for our sin's; exclaiming IT IS FINISHED; is placed in a tomb; 3 days later comes BLASTING out conquering death forever and providing eternal life for those who believe and now sits at the right hand of the Father, preparing a place for you and for me (who believe).

Jesus didn't model our way of taking a chance by asking God: "will they believe if I do this" "will they come if I empty out the tomb" Nope, He just did it, Oh He asked one time for the cup to be removed if it was in His Father's will, but we know he drank the cup completely in order to give me and you the chance to accept or reject. So did Jesus take a chance? Or is taking the chance left for us to accept or reject what He has already done and that is accept you and me.

pain

I am starting to notice something not only about myself, but in others in regards to pain. Most recently i attended a funeral. A friend of ours lost his dad in an auto accident. Although my friend's relationship with his dad while on this earth was not great, the pain of losing your daddy is HUGE.

Our instinct is to do "whatever" to help take that pain away from the person traveling through it, it is like we are trying to absorb that pain into ourselves in order to relieve our friend, our buddy, our child, our spouse from hurting. But something that is interesting, when we stop to think, is: why do we pretend or deflect pain when it hits us? When we know someone is traveling through difficult circumstances, when we know that life has brought someone to their knees and their entire body screams "I'm dying" we ask "are you OK?" Really? are you OK? If that's not crazy enough the response from our hurting friend is "i'm good" or "I'm alright"......ok I'm off that craziness anyone want to join me? OK good.

God talks about pain throughout scripture, I mean heck think about Job for a minute, that man went through some pain didn't he? Yes, and I believe Paul dealt with physical and mental pain, yet look at his words in:
Romans chapter 8:23 And even we Christians, although we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, also groan to be released from pain and suffering. We, too, wait anxiously for that day when God will give us our full rights as his children, including the new bodies he has promised us.

So God is continually teaching us through these moments of pain and then comfort as we travel to the other side. And before I jump off that craziness wagon completely let's take a look at the following:
2 Corinthians 1:4
He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

So now it's becoming more clear (or clearer haha), maybe just maybe we are offering comfort and not trying to wear the pain....Yea i believe that's right and kiddos that ain't crazy...that's lovin em up!

www.loveemupministries.com

clothes line

Ok so i'm 46 and for some reason, as the years pass by, the more i recall some of the most random events, things, thoughts, and even emotions from my childhood. Maybe some of this has to do with our children who ask Debby and I "did yall have bicycles when you were our age?" i'm come on are we from Bedrock? hahaha.

ok Im exaggerating a bit, but stop and think about some of the items, or ways we would entertain ourselves in our younger days. One of the memories that continues to pop up for me, is the clothes line. Yea, where have they gone? Remember those days when all of your neighbors would have at least one line stretched out across the back yard, and if you were high falutin, well they may have two to three wires stretched out. Lines that would decapitate the tallest kid in the neighborhood during night time hide and seek and leave everyone laying on the ground laughing until you peeed in your pants, while he/she checked to make sure both eyeballs were still in their skull.

Man, yea I can remember looking out over the neighbors seeing everyone's unmentionables, and thinking are you kidding me.... Mr so and so really wears those? WOW! I guess when they (the unmentionables) hang out on a line for an extended period, in front of God and everybody, they are not unmentionable anymore......and don't think we didn't turn our heads at the well, you know the marks that clorox, just couldn't quite remove...the scars remain.... The days of running in and out of the clothesline, when mama hung the sheets out to dry and jumping in those same sheets that night with the smell of sunshine baked in was amazing. Those same sheets that left you searching for the cool spots way down at the bottom, as the window air conditioner threw out some serious snowballs. Or after a shower and you reached for a big fluffy.....uh stiff towel, that was baked in the same August sunshine and until it got a bit damp, felt like sandpaper going across your face. Or, or, or.....

Ah your there now, cool, hang out there awhile and bring your children in for some of those memories.

folding money

Hello friends,

Well the summer mission/camp trips with our children has drawn to a close. We have landed back in the boro' and we set our sights on a bit of rest and seek God's face for our next venture. Heck who am i kidding, the next adventure is everyday when we walk out our front, side or back doors.

Let me share a recent observation. Let's read Mark 12:41-43 NLT Jesus sat down near the collection box in the Temple and watched as the crowds dropped in their money. Many rich people put in large amounts. v42 Then a poor widow woman came and dropped in two small coins.
v43 Jesus called his disciples to him and said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has given more than all others who are making contributions. v44 For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on.

Now hang on, don't hit the exit button just yet, hahaha. I'm not going where you "think" I'm going. The observation is this. She wasn't concerned at what she placed in or who saw her place her offering in the box, yet when a special offering comes around......you know the free concerts at church and then we take up a "love offering" why do i always fold my money up like a piece of orgami. Yea, hahaha....you too.

This past week, we were in Orange Beach, AL with 100 high schoolers at Student Life (amazing trip). There was a segment that highlighted the tremendous need in Haiti, and the leaders of the conference asked those of us in attendance to give as God leads. Purses are cracking open, men leaning over reaching for wallets, kids dropping quarters on the floor scurrying around to find them with cell phone lighting, others darting their eyes all around the facility pretending this offering doesn't pertain to them (i gave at the office hahaha).

So I look over in my wife's hand and she has an offering, it's folding money, and i notice WOW she folds her bills up too....man look how many folds she has in hers. You can't tell what president is on the bill. I'm impressed with the precision of the fold, and then it hits me....Why do we fold this up? Are we embarrased? Do we "feel" our offering really doesn't make a difference, but we will give anyway? Is it all we have, or are we like Ananias and Sapphira, who pretended to give everything?

Thanks for hanging around and help me find my quarters, the collection box is making it way to my seat!

empty places of worship

Hello everyone,

June, July are busy months for the Bivins family. We are off in various directions throughout the months going to summer camps, like centri kid, mfuge and student life. The most recent trip is one we have taken now for 3 years. It's a trip that takes us to NYC, yep New York City.

It's an amazing trip, as we gather together with other brother and sisters to help some friends of ours with a church plant, called the gallery church. The yearly pilgrimage has us on the grounds in the various boroughs of New York, talking with the locals and trying to share life for just a moment. There are several, i mean several topics in regards to this trip that i will share at a later date. Today i would like to share a thought and get some of your thoughts.

You see, in our journeys over the years to and from NYC we pass by these structures, that were built in the early 1800's. The structures in various places of the city reach for the heavens and scream to be admired, to be honored. We call these structures church, or cathedrals, places of worship, i personally like to call these structures, worship barns. (hey Jesus calls us sheep) For example Trinity Chapel a place of worship that sits within a city block of Wall Street, the church is just a few steps away from where George Washington was inaugurated as the first president of the United States. Interestingly enough there is a plaque that shows the first President in a pose that has his face searching the skies for, what to me appears to be seeking the face of our Creator for guidance in this amazing transition of power. Yet as you walk inside the doors of Trinity Chapel, it is more of a museum, a place to sight see, than a place of worship. Names of donors, plaques of those that served, busts of those that gave.

Walk with me, well we better jump on a subway train for this next leg, its OK really, kinda fun actually to ride, haaaaannnnngggg on. Our stop is in the Stuyesvant area where we will walk inside a place of worship built in the late 1700's, called St George Episcopal. You cannot help but say GAWLEE look at this place, when you walk in. A structure of awe and yet this year I'm starting to get a sense of maybe just maybe we as a body took our eye off the ball, or did we take our eye off the reason for the structure, Jesus?

Back to the train, told ya it was fun! Next stop is St Patricks Cathedral on 5th in Manhattan. The largest Roman Catholic church in the United States. Built in 1853. The dictionary does not have the words to describe the beauty of this place. Masses are still held at this location, as visitors come in and walk around during the services. I must admit, the first year Iwalked into this worship barn. The priest was conducting mass and sightseers were meandering around. I timidly walked in and immediately felt like I was doing something terribly wrong....have we made masses a spectator sport now? Just saying....

Exodus 20:5 (NLT) You must not bow down to them (God is speaking of the idols referenced in verse 4)or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods.

So here is the question. Knowing that our God is a jealous God, and when these mega structures were first built, throngs of folks came and gave their various talents, which included money and service. The buildings were packed or they wouldn't have been built right? So what happened? Did we start focusing on the "things" or talents of the local body, instead of loving God and loving each other as ourselves? Did we become to enamored in seeing our name as a vestryman chiseled in marble for the "world" to see when we were long gone? Did we loose sight of not letting the right hand know what the left hand was doing in order that our reward would be received in heaven and not on earth? Did we forget to go into our prayer closet and pray? Did we simple loose sight of Jesus in our zeal to impress or "SHOW" the world we are Christians?

OK so shoot me, that was more than one question. But it sure does have me thinking and going back to read Acts, when the early church met in homes. God encourages us in Hebrews 10:25 (NLT)And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near.

Amen Amen, where are you meeting?

under the influence

Do you remember the last time you were under the influence?

Hahaha...Gotcha ya! i don't necessarily mean substances, but since you brought it up, let's dissect that one first. i remember the last time that i was under the influence. It was in 2002 on a trip to the beach. My family and i love the beach, but this year was a bit different because on visits previously, my time in the sand was spent hanging out with shovel in one hand and a cold beer in the other. That came to a screaching crash when in 2001 a knox county deputy thought that driving down the road with no lights wasn't a real cool thing to do. So when the blue lights came on, the investigation began to see what type of influence i was under. The verdict alcohol and a trip to the county jail.

in a way this was my damascus road moment, as deep down i knew that i had a problem with alcohol, but wouldn't admit it, until that night. Go back to the beach and few months of sobriety, you flirt with the temptations....i was beginning to dig in God's word and was officially far enough away from the locals to try out "social drinking" hahaha (5 county rule for those still wearing masks). i won't bore you with the details, the look on my wife's face that evening said it all, and all i could muster was "i know" and that was it. No more foreign items go into the body to influence an escape or numbing.

i truly started to digest Ephesians 5:18 NIV Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.
This began the journey to determine, why i would seek something that would influence my thoughts in a negative manner and found that i really didn't know who i was in Christ. As i continue to digest, learn, relearn and redigest who i am in Christ i am under the influence of the Holy Spirit. i no longer seek out "stuff" that are fake, shallow or temporary. i have set my sights on Jesus, the one that desires my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)

Digesting, swallowing Jesus is making ALL the difference in the world for me. Now let's go influence those with the love that Jesus pours into us by serving our community through Jesus Christ (John 13:35 NIV)

in closing check out the following from Jeremiah 15:19

The LORD replied, "If you return to me, I will restore you so you can continue to serve me. If you speak words that are worthy, you will be my spokesman. You are to influence them; do not let them influence you!

faith around the world

Hello gang,

Good to be with you again! How have you been? Good! some not so good...ah cool thanks for your honesty. Everyone doing great here in the boro'. The heat is starting to rise a bit, bodies are plunging into the water and under shade trees to find relief from the heat and humidity.

We have been discussing over the year, our faith and last blog entry was on acceptance. Today i would like for us to dissect Romans 1:8. The NIV translation reads v8 First i thank God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is being reported all over the world.

Man, can you imagine. I mean look at what Paul just reported. Your faith is being reported all over the world. How? What were people saying? I look at the translation of faith, which in greek is pistis. i know be careful with that word, someone may think your mad hahaha and find this definition

) conviction of the truth of anything, belief; in the NT of a conviction or belief respecting man's relationship to God and divine things, generally with the included idea of trust and holy fervour born of faith and joined with it

1) the conviction that God exists and is the creator and ruler of all things, the provider and bestower of eternal salvation through Christ

b) relating to Christ

1) a strong and welcome conviction or belief that Jesus is the Messiah, through whom we obtain eternal salvation in the kingdom of God

c) the religious beliefs of Christians

d) belief with the predominate idea of trust (or confidence) whether in God or in Christ, springing from faith in the same

2) fidelity, faithfulness

a) the character of one who can be relied on

So when i read the definition then place in the scripture, Paul is saying your conviction, your strong and welcome belief that Jesus is the Messiah is being heard all over the world. So am i to believe that in this conviction, in this strong belief, manifested out into visible acts?

YES SIR! Galatians 5:22-26 (NIV)But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness v23 gentleness and self-control v24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires v25 Since we live by the Spirit let us keep in step with the Spirit v26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Like the words in the wonderful song by Mercy Me. "i can only imagine" a community not provoking each other or envying each other. i can only imagine a place where we are not keeping up with each other through the temporal but keeping in step with Spirit, that unites us through Jesus Christ! We have glimpses, that exercise the fruits in my presence, thank you. forgive me for the times i don't...

aaaahhhh that just might be what Paul was hearing from around the world. Yea, Paul days before sitting down through the Holy Spirit to write the letter to the Roman church, people are running to him, "Paul Paul have you heard about our brothers and sisters around the world? Paul their faith is growing, people are taking notice of the faith through forgiveness of each other through Jesus Christ. With so much excitment, the people keep runing to Paul, dust flying up as they stop in their tracks to report the news, they shake him to make sure he is listening, Paul Paul are you hearing me? Faith around the world?

I am hearing of faith also, and it is a sweet, sweet sound to my ears!

keep lovin em up gang!

accept

Hello gang,

You know when you look at a photograph, especially a group photo, do you ever wonder the moment right after everyone says Chhheeeeessseee and click? Yea the thoughts rolling through the minds as the photograph is done and we start other random conversations, like i think my eyes were closed, yea i was looking at the traffic behind the photographer, but for the moment in the picture, everyone was in harmony with each other in having their moment captured.

Paul talks about this harmony quiet often in his letters. The past few weeks i have camped out in Romans 14 and 15. Go ahead grab your sword and take a little journey with me. Depending on the version you have in your hands, Romans 14 comes right out of the gate and instructs us, again depending on your translation, to accept, receive, or welcome the one with weaker faith and to not argue, quarrel, don't pass judgment on what you "think" is right versus what your brother/sister "thinks" is right.

Now skip on over to Romans 15. Paul picks this subject up once again. You see the rest of 14 he detailed some areas that was causing our brothers/sisters to argue or not accept each other. Now over to 15 verse 1 Paul states (NLT) We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not please ourselves v2Each of us should please his neighbor for his good to build him up.....go to verse 7

v7Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God...WHAMO moment uh....wait a minute...hold the phone...uh Lord uh how, uh what are You asking me/us here? I know, i know, i know...now let's hang with each other here for a second and ask ourselves this question. How did Paul know his faith was that strong? Remember he said in verse 1 We who are strong....what was he using as a benchmark to determine that his faith was strong? Better yet, how do you and i determine how strong our faith is?.....or if we really want to, let's ask ourselves what are we utilizing to determine where one of our brothers or sisters faith is. hahahaha....

Get's us thinking a bit doesn't it? Sure does and has for me. As i continue to walk this life, and bounce this scripture off where i am walking, i see real quick how i pushback on folks, that may not think exactly like me, or how if someone has accepted me into their circle of friends, yet i'm selective about who comes into mine.

I guess it would be neat if we had faith o meter's or faith o mometer's that we could hold and show the "world" just how strong our faith really is. HMMMM, when you think about this for a second, we already have this measuring device, yea yea yea...Jesus talked about it after he washed the disciples feet. John 13:35 (NLT) Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples. Paul gives another in the letter to the Galatians chapter 5 verse 13 and 14..go check it out!

It's showing the world that yes we do and can disagree, but he/she is my brother in Christ and we are meeting each other back at the empty tomb to worship, to create unity, to manufacture harmony through our resurrected Savior who ACCEPTS me everyday through FAITH in HIM!

love em up!

Schools

Ok so i'm running/jogging/walking...at times crawling my way around Murfreesboro taking in the crispness of the morning in search for that runners high. It's just a cool way for me to connect with God and roll the day's, week's month's activities around in the ol noggin.

This morning, this thought or question came blasting to the forefront. What happened to the schools? No i'm not going down the road in how people desire to take God out of the schools by eliminating prayer, or how some folks are desirous in eliminating Bible clubs in schools around the nation. I'm asking, "why are the schools getting these fancy names?"

It seems that if a particular school is starting to decline in popularity, we change the school to a magnet or whatever the buzzwords of the day are that scream quality to the world and deems that school worthy of our children attending. What are we basing our decisions on? Is it the building, the faculty, the students, the area, the atmosphere or climate of the school?

I don't know. I really don't. This medium is not for the debate of such things, but to maybe get us to look inward. Let's look inward for a second to see if we are living out what Paul reminds us of in his second letter to the Corinthians in chapter 5 verses 13-16...go check it out? i'll paraphrase for the sake of space in this format.

Paul is saying look if we look crazy (not like the world) well guess what? we are! and here is why. Jesus!! Yea because we are CONVINCED that Jesus died for all and that since we no longer live for ourselves but for HIM...so we are going to stop evaluating or we will no longer look at folks with our worldly goggles. (warned you it was a paraphrase)

So that we will think of others in a higher manner than we do ourselves. WHAT that's not in there? hahaha...i know, but it is in Phillipians 2:3. Think of the places you do not desire to be and then let's ask ourselves the question why? When i'm truly honest with myself it's because of my lack of living out the verses we just plowed through. i "think" i'm better...uuggghhh..anyone else?

Lord we pray for those of us that have placed ourselves above you and our fellow man and made decisions based on the "world's standard" not yours.... Father we thank you for placing us with you through our belief in Jesus Christ. For you thought alot of us to send Jesus, it's now our turn. Amen

Post 40

As i typed the title, i realized that this really can mean several things; like yes i'm over 40 years old, sounds like a cereal, some golfers would love to post a 40 on 9 holes, but this is in regards to a post i shared with you guys back in March.

You see i shared that in observance of the 40 days leading to Christ's resurrection, i was refraining from sweets. You can scroll down a few blogs to catch up. Well Easter was yesterday and man o' man did we celebrate. No not by eating bunny ears (although those are quite tasty) We gathered with our brothers and sisters across the globe to celebrate our Risen Savior. I thought our skin was going to pop off at times,with our hands raised, eyes closed and my bride after we sing He's Alive is just about to put her fingers in her mouth for a good ol southern whistling salute of her Praises to the King....she refrained hahaha...

Well it's Monday. The celebration continues, as we know that for over 2000 years our Lord reigns!

I must share that this year my senses were heightned to the resurrection as i journeyed through the fast. You see as my body would crave the sweets, (which still has not gone away)i would think of Jesus. As the days came closer and the week of His triumphal entry, i literally would place myself in the setting and play out where i thought i might be, i would ask myself, "how quick would i have ran" when asked about Jesus. Would i have been like Peter and have Jesus tell me to get behind him? Or would i have been one of the crowd asking for the release of Barabas instead of Jesus.....I don't have to wonder that anymore.

You see in the days leading up to the resurrection this verse was revealed to me. Revelation 19:6-8 Look at verse 8. The she is us folks...those of us that have said yes and believe to Jesus, those of us that recognize Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. That fine linen, well when you dissect that word in the original greek language, it is a bleached white linen (spotless without blemish)Our spotless, without a blemish Savior places this on me and you. Go ahead jump and do a chest bump or side bump with someone.....gang that is why He emptied Himself out of that tomb to conquer death, so HIS bride (the body of Christ)can live everlasting to everlasting with our bridegroom Jesus Christ without a blemish.

What's that? oh yes, i did eat a piece of nanny's (my mother in law's)amazing , that is submerged in eagle brand milk, creamy white icing with coconut flakes drizzled cake........oops sorry i fell down for a second hhahaha. But the struggle through the 40 was way much more than about not eating sweets. It is SO WAY ABOUT our reflection on Jesus and seeing that HE IS STILL ALIVE.

Good Friday

Gang,

Wow what an incredible two days and tomorrow's forecast looks like it will be another beautiful day. During the day tomorrow take notice, mark your calendars set reminders with your phones at 09:00…..12:00 to 3:00 pm…read Mark 15 and you will see these times. A couple of weeks ago we discussed preparing ourselves and how Christ has prepared rooms for us, so as we set our faces toward the incredible celebration on Sunday I/we must first travel through a Friday.

Mark 15:42 This all happened on Friday, the day of preparation, [fn] the day before the Sabbath. As evening approached,

Let's join together and prepare. This for some folks will be there one or two times a year to walk through a door of worship barn, praise God for the ones that come to 1307 Rutherford boulevard. There will be some folks we haven't seen in awhile PRAISE GOD! renew friendships, for there is always room at the table for one more. I think for some Easter serves as a Christian new year, for those that feel they have "blown it". In a way it is similar to how people would load up each year, in observance of Passover, and travel to the Temple to offer sacrifices for the yearly sins…..Wow what a blessing we now have in Jesus who after washing the disciples feet on that Thursday (tonight) stated in John 13:35-36 (NLT) Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples v36 Simon Peter said "Lord where are you going?" and Jesus replied, "You can't go with me now but you will follow me later."

Man, can't wait to see my room, how about you?

Love and Respect - Hierarchy/Authority

Tonight, we talked about the H and A in CHAIRS. C stands for conquest, which we talked about last week. H stands for HIERARCHY and A stands for AUTHORITY


We defined hierarchy as "chain of command; structure; authority. We also spoke of authority that we are willing to submit to…examples…police, law, boss, mom/dad, and basically anyone that we respect who is put in a position of authority over us. The basic crux of hierarchy comes directly from scripture in Ephesians 5:22 that we are to submit to our husbands as to the Lord. God wired our men with an innate desire to protect and provide, and most women's hands went up in agreement that we want our husbands to protect us, provide for us, and to lead our homes. That is the place that God desires us to be where He (God) is top in authority, then comes our man, and then us. Our husbands are called to love us and lay down their lives for us as Christ did for the church, and we are called to submit (to give over or yield to the authority of another) to our husbands as the church submits to Christ. The key to authority is that much responsibility comes with it, as Christ well knows. The common bond between men loving their wives as Christ loves the church and women submitting to their husbands as the church submits to Christ, is CHRIST. We can't do this thing without Him!!!



We've talked quite a bit about "good will", and that is also another huge component in making this Love and Respect thing work. We have to have good will toward one another or we will not love like Christ, or be willing to submit to anything.

Good willed is defined as friendly disposition; usual mood or temperament; not to intentionally harm; serve; someone who is "for you". Here's where the hard truths really lie. If we are not good willed toward one another in our marriage, we are in quick sand with no movement. All of these things we've been talking about with the COUPLE acronym for the women and CHAIRS acronym for the men cannot move forward if we do not have good will toward our spouse and they to us.

Life in marriage is HARD.  It's work, but it's so worth fighting for.  Continue to plow forward in learning more about yourselves in marriage by diving into His Word to see what He has to say to guide your way in marriage.  The blessings are abundant for those who roll up their sleeves and live and grow together.  Our marriages are so worth it!  Let's continue to build the armor of steel around our hearts and marriages that are so susceptible to the evil one's lurkings.  STAND GUARD!!

gym church

Ok i admit...we are hooked on Biggest Loser...it's amazing! if you have never watched this show, give it a try and you will see some of the rawest emotion displayed each week, as these folks come together to lose much more than just weight.

The weekly show guides you through the week of workouts, challenges, education on diet, and invariably someone breaks through to find out why food was the method for them to find an escape. At different intervals in the journey the producers of the show will send the contestants home for a week to see how they implement what they are learning at the ranch. At the end of the week, the scales are waiting.

This year as the contestants went home and went to the local gym, several commented on how good it feels to be able to walk into the gym. Yea, they attempted to go in the past (the time most needed due to their lifestyle and size) yet they felt or applied self condemnation and walked out.

Don't we know some folks that treat the local church the same way? In Mark 2:17 (NLT)
Jesus tells us...."Healthy people don't need a doctor--sick people do. i have come to call sinners, not those who think they are already good enough".

Who am i kidding i'm one of those folks...i felt that i had to get cleaned up (action based thinking) before i could go inside a local place of worship, yet Jesus wants me/us to come in just as we are. Part of the definition for the word sick is miserable, yet we walk around pretending alot of the time we are "fine" hahaha. If you are miserable (sick) come to the very place Jesus established to help us receive health, the local body of Christ.

See ya the worship barn

Loyalty...Esteem

Happy SUNNY Friday!


Wahoo!! Gonna get some dirt under my fingernails today as I'm outside enjoying His creation!!
We talked through the "L" and the "E" of our acronym in Love and Respect this past week. Just a refresher…

C..loseness

O..penness

U..nderstanding

P..eacemaker

L..oyalty

E..steem

Loyalty…my Golden Retriever that is laying right beside me as I type is a perfect God picture to me of Loyalty. He is always by my side, follows me around, and is the protector of our yard. As we talked through in class in our working definition of Loyalty, we described it as…faithful, on my team, on my side, committed, unconditional fidelity, trust, "for me", without question, allegiance



We found that we are loyal to a lot of different things/people in this life…God; t.v.; sports teams (anyone being loyal to some March Madness?...be sure to carve out a bit of time with your wife and family as your brain cells are withering away!! haha) kids; family; spouse; work; friendships; hobbies It was interesting to me that the spouse got listed so far down in our brainstorming even when we're in marriage class! We are all so different, but it would be interesting to take some time and write down what you feel like you’re most loyal to, and then ask your spouse to write a list of what they think you're loyal to…



We also dove into some pretty sensitive stuff as we talked about the visual age that we live in and how our minds, especially men's, are being bombarded with sexual images, from commercials, to catalogs, to Sports Illustrated, to pornography…Satan's lures are everywhere and he knows our weaknesses. Where loyalty is concerned, a wife has to be reassured that you are hers, and she is yours. Making comments about another woman, her looks, her build, her body parts, especially in front of your wife, is NOT COOL. Most of us agreed, that when that is done, we feel like we're not enough for our husbands, that we are somehow "less". Now, as I addressed in class, we, as wives, tired wives and moms, can tend to move to a place of comfort, ease, sameness with our man, and lose some of that pursuing that we did with one another when we dated. Our marriage should be the most important relationship on this earth, and as we all know, it takes WORK!!! As one woman noted in class, she heard a phrase on Focus on the Family that really struck a chord with her. "Have an affair with your husband, or someone else will". Our loyalties have to be guarded…first with Christ and then with one another. Marriages just don't work well without Jesus!!



Esteem…simply put…to have high confidence in something or someone

I know that women need it, but honestly, I don't know of a soul who doesn't. To be respected, honored, cherished, believed in, highly regarded, is something that we all long for, but I know that can easily be transferred onto humans above God in a heartbeat. It is reassuring to know that above man, Jesus highly esteems us, and as we seek to let our identities rest in Him, we are satisfied.



Here are some ways a husband/wife can esteem one another.

Tell one that you are proud of her/him.

Speak highly of one another in front of others.

Give encouragement and praise

Be physically affectionate in public

Teach the children to show her/him respect

Value one another's opinion

Make her/him feel of most importance

We're Goin' To the Chapel...

And we're gonna get married!  21 crazy, full, growth filled, wild with love, challenging, do it all again YEARS!!  I am blessed beyond my wildest imagination.  If I never got another day with this man, I would be blessed with more love than I ever thought I could receive or give to another human.  I am a better ME because he is in my life.  I thank God every day for taking two lost and wayward souls and knowing what they could be in Him, and loving them both enough to draw them to Himself.  What a ride! 

how fast is fast?

to abstain as a religious exercise from food and drink: either entirely, if the fast lasted but a single day, or from customary and choice nourishment, if it continued several days

That's the definition of fast…Yea Jesus demonstrated this discipline in the desert for 40 days, and then we see in Matthew chapter 6 verse 16 He states "and when you fast, don't make it obvious, as the hypocrites do, who try to look pale and disheveled so people will admire them for their fasting. I assure you, that is the only reward they will ever get." (NLT)

Before we dive in, let me share my first experience. I'm thinking now that it was about 5 years ago, I'm reading scripture and the thought of fasting came to mind and so in my typical fleshy way, I said to self….hey let's do this….Yea let's do this thing…I can do this…let me pick something to fast from…heck my doing was more like a side show you see when you go to Coney Island in NY. Yea the shows that show half dog half cat jumping through hoops of flames, or the tent where the man is swallowing everything except food or water. That was my mind set, look at what I'm attempting for God…WRONG answer! The attempting part was correct, but the motive way off. I was going into the fast as I would running a distance I have never run before, just to see if I could do it. Well guess what happened? Yep, fast didn't last…. Oh I forgot to tell you, my 2 day fast was from pop-tarts. No kidding I really really really enjoy those tasty little pastries, with butter smothered on them…placed in the ov….someone slap me here…ok I'm back with you. Fast forward to 2010

I must admit that most of the time when I hear the word fast now in this setting, I think to myself….yea, the reason it's called a fast is that when you are in it, you want it over real fast hahaha. But as God does when we are talking with Him, through His word and just talking (praying) in whatever we are doing. The verse pops up yet again and the week this verse pops up is start Ash Wednesday. The part of the verse that continues to penetrate me is the word WHEN. It doesn't say if i decide to fast, or if i think about it, Jesus says when you (we)fast. And this time, as I read, the week before, the thought of refraining from certain sweets was starting to enter my mind. Here's why…9 years ago, alcohol had a grip on me, it was an escape, it was a form of numbing the world around me (you can shoot me a message for the other details, will refrain here) suffice to say for those that understand addiction, you realize that the "whatever" can be more than the substances like drugs and alcohol, but also things like shopping, exercise, work, sex and hobbies, creeps into your mind and tells your body you NEED this.

So if you'll notice in the scripture cited above, Jesus tells us don't make it look obvious, so i really dug in and said YEA YEA…no one will know, not even my bride. Well remember this started on Wednesday and things are going ok, as I replace the sweets like chocolate chip cookies, brownies, donuts, cake, pies…ok ok I'm back…with the Word and or prayer and most of the time both. Wednesday night comes and a friend shares that she is fasting as well, so we high fived and said me too! but don't tell anyone…DAG GUM IT! I just told you…ok ok….keep it a secret. Friday comes and Debby, my bride, comes out of the store with, yep you guessed it. A big ol Hershey bar, my favorite. Satan away from me…surely Jesus didn't face this type of temptation did he?… Shook it off…."WHAT?" was her shocked reply. Yea, and as I brought deb up to speed I shared how this sweet thing is more than I really thought…kinda thought this would be a chip shot, but I am seeing even in this short time, my reliance on this is crazy. I ask her to pray with me during this time (James 5:16). The weekend comes and goes…whew, how many more days? Need reinforcements…Tuesday comes, I meet with some dear friends each Tuesday morning at 05:00 to discuss life, I bring them in. And as I am sharing I'm thinking, "this is so foolish, seems so trivial" but folks it's not!

Tomorrow will be the half way point. In just a few days we will celebrate our risen Savior Jesus Christ! We will celebrate the One who was tempted for 40 days in His fast, that was part of His preparation for the day that brings me and you our eternity, our salvation through faith in His risen Body! So right now when I say no to the Hershey bar, or when I say no to the whatever in life that has gripped me…..i am saying YES to JESUS…and the grip of the whatever loosens just a bit, the grip I have on myself loosens, as I continue to say YES to JESUS!

If you are saying yes, and you "feel" your yes just isn't sticking, give us a shout and share your experience with us we look forward to hearing your story.

mike

Love and Respect - Closeness

Hi everyone!


Hope your week is going well! We are plowing through Love and Respect and I know I can speak for all of us as I say we are definitely being challenged in many areas, which is so good, because challenges move us toward change. We have to begin to realize that our marriages are such a process of seasons of growth, and we can never settle in and feel like "we've got this". It is at that moment that we are easy targets for the evil one who absolutely hates the idea of a healthy marriage and family.



We started with the acronym C.O.U.P.L.E.

C loseness

O penness

U nderstanding

P eacemaker

L oylaty

E steem



There is another C.H.A.I.R, but that's weeks down the road. I will say, that COUPLE is geared more toward the man, and CHAIR toward the women. We are praying that these next weeks you will absorb these truths like a sponge that will ultimately help your marriage be all that God created it to be in Him.



CLOSENESS

We talked for most of the class time on closeness/connection. Here are some of things that helped us define closeness.

*inseparable; comfort; trust; share with one another; intimacy; to know; soul to soul; touch; tolerance; heart to heart; not necessarily proximity; common goal

LIFE CHALLENGES: when I'm sick; birth of child; sickness of child; death of a parent; financial struggles.



We agreed that in those life challenges God can use them to draw us closer, or if our marriages are on a shakey or shifting foundation, they can drive us apart.



A woman's innate desire is be close to her husband. Many times in confrontation, it is a woman's way of crying out for connection/closeness with her spouse. As we learned from the book and workbook, a man moving toward his wife and realizing her need for closeness will take a step off the Crazy Cycle and move onto the Energizing Cycle.



Know that you bless us every week with your input as we talk through this thing called marriage. I know we're getting stronger!!

40 days

40 days of rain
40 days of manna from heaven to feed the people on their way to Canaan
40 days moses with God
40 days of temptation in the desert, Jesus conquered

40 days from today we will CELEBRATE our RISEN SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST! (picture the exclamation points going to infinite).

as a brief brief overview above, we see that in 40 days people change from the inside out….Will you join with me for the next 40 days (starting today)let's pray with our spouses…Yea for the next 40 days, let's not miss a day in coming together with the one, that we stood in front of friends and family and proclaimed that God joined us together……pray with each other for the next 40 days…..are you in? Good I see some heads nodding, I hear some stomachs flipping with nervousness, legs are swaying back and forth, questions rolling in the head "will he/she pray with me" YES!

love em up!

half way scared

You ever watch a squirrel trying to cross a road? Yea it's crazy, but when you stop a minute and think we have some similar traits. Oh i don't mean in how we cross the road, however, i have felt like a squirrel at times when crossing the roads after some sporting events.

Next time when you see a squirrel scurrying around with the tail flying all over the place, take notice. The one i watched today had the head going back and forth at record speeds, darted out to the middle of the road, looked back to where he or she (sorry wasn't that close)heard the noise of the on coming vehicle, dissected that they couldn't make it and scurried back to their original place of preceived safety, therefore, traveling the same distance back, as the distance that it would have been to cross the street completely. Whew...and as the squirrel would then look back over his situation, he finds, he's right back where he started.

Aren't we the same way in our lives.....yea....you see, the squirrel knew the land, the terrain, the danger from where he came.....what he didn't know, was the land ahead of him and if it was more dangerous getting across the street, than where he just came from...it was the unknown...fear grips us. In our daily walks in recovery, we/i can understand walking, scurrying, running, head darting to and fro, wondering what the next step should be, who's watching, what am i protecting....man can i get across NO...i must go back....but i don't want to go back....dag gum...what to do? HELP

Hebrews 13:6 (NLT) That is why we can say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper, so i will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?

Think i'll cross that street now, come on along and join the journey....

Keepin' Things Shiny

I usually clean my wedding rings once a week on Sundays before church.  They look all snazzy (i like that word, just don't know if it's a real one) and I love to look at them shine in the light.  If you look closely, you can see reflections in the gold.  As we travel Wednesday to Wednesday, living life with other couples, and seeking to strengthen our marriages, God reminded me of the process by which I clean my rings.  I let them soak in a jewelry cleaning solution, then, with the brush provided, I clean all the cracks and crevices that have accumulated dust, dirt, lotion, soap scum and hair.  I then rinse them and buff them with a towel to get them shiny.

God gave me this simple truth...Our marriages need soaked and brushed, so as to get all the gunk out, rinsed and cleansed, and buffed and shined.  Is this a one time chore?  Of course not.  In order for my rings to stay clean, I have to wash them regularly.  In order for my marriage to stay clean, I have to take necessary steps, communicating with Mike every day, setting aside time for "us" (not with kids or other couples), talking through and not stuffing hurt feelings, places where we don't agree, and things will help us grow.  Praying together has been one of the staple things that Mike and I as "one" can't do without.  It had been awhile since we had had an official date, but last week, we took time out, carved time out, stole time for us, and it was a great way to "shine up" a marriage that we cherish and want to fight for every day. 

I encourage you...take the well deserved time to shine up your marriage!  The blessings are immeasurable.

manhood part 2

Ok last week, we talked about, or really asked the question: "when did i walk through the door of manhood?"

Asking this question to some of the men that are willing to share their life with me, has been an absolute blast! The answers, comments, suggestions have been all over the place. You can imagine some of the responses; like, when i first started to drive, or when i started making money; there were some that half joking, but probably more serious stated, the first time to be sexually active......but as we really centered down on the question, especially when we walk out what this looks like to communicate to our sons, and for that matter our daugthers on entering womanhood an eiry silence falls over the landscape.

It's a silence men, we must break....so let me share what i believe to be my walking through the door to manhood....not arriving mind you, but growing each day into the man God has designed me to be through Jesus Christ.

It was the day that i started to accept my decisions, regardless of outcome and stop running from them, stopped making excuses in order to protect an image, i thought the world had of me, stopped being a pretender....NOW HOLD on....men hear me here.....listen to what i'm not saying...do i still make crazy decisions? YES! are all of my decisions right? well depends on if your asking me or my bride hahahaha....What i am saying is that you/me are exactly who God says we are! a co-heir; an ambassador; redeemed; cleansed; reconciled; filled with the Holy Spirit; Men we are HIS.

So there is a day coming soon, and deb and i will walk this out with our daughter,Kinsey, at graduation this coming May, then Madison 4 years down the road and then with Michael 8 years down the road with our tennis ball soaked walkers hahaha...heck no...we will be running with them...

and here is what will happen....the day will be a celebration as deb and i physically stand in front of our children upon graduation and communicate to them that God is in front of us and He has been leading us to lead (train Proverbs 22:6 NIV)you for the past 18 years. Today your mother and i now come beside you, as you now take ownership of your decisions, with God leading you....we are here for your support ALWAYS, but it is God's face you must seek first to determine your path. (Psalm 105:4 NIV)

so when did your manhood start? Not sure...cool, i wasn't either until talking with some brothers, do you have some men that you are sharing life with? If so, you understand how cool this fellowship is. If not and your are desirous to share life with other men, who are ready to learn what manhood is really about, let us know....groups are forming! look forward to your response

Starting to Love and Respect

Happy Friday!
The marriage class that we lead on Wednesday nights is diving into the book/workbook Love and Respect (click for link) by Emerson Eggerichs.  We are so excited about this and would love to have anyone come and join us.  We meet at 6:30 each Wednesday night at Belle Aire Baptist Church in Murfreesboro, TN.  Room 201

Here are some of the points that we discussed about RESPECT and some words we associate with it when we think about it.




***fear; provider; security; honor; revere; have value; high regard; submission; boundaries; subjection; trust; authority; earn it



The point was made and likened respect to a fire. It only takes one burn for us to gain a very healthy respect for it. We love for it to warm us, cook for us, and provide light for us, but we also must honor it and have a respect for the boundaries that it sets.



The question was posed to the men and women of what they would rather have, love or respect. The premise of the book is centered around Ephesians 5:33 that says that women need love, and men need respect, but it was cool to see the diversity of the group where we had some men admit that they'd rather have love if they had to choose, and women who said they'd rather have respect.



Here were some of the phrases that I got from the first chapter of the book that men have described to have felt disrespected…

"he felt like she could get along fine without him"

"he was made to feel insignificant as if he didn't matter"

"felt judged for failing to act in a certain way"

"unacceptable"

"using the words 'YOU NEED' to…"

"feeling put down by the demeanor of tone"

"acting as if she were my mom"

"constantly criticizing, complaining…not good enough"

Men, ask your bride if she feels like you show her love, and women, ask your man if he feels respected by you. If the answer is "yes", go one step further and give an example to one another of why you feel or don't feel this way.

Happy Weekend!!

manhood/respect

Happy Monday folks, this question/thought is for the hairy ankle boys/men....sorry ladies, even if you haven't taken the winter coat off the ankles, this is for the guys hahaha.

Men, as we continue our journey this week, we will tip toe into the land of understanding what respect means to not only us, but how do we help communicate this area of our lives with our spouse. How do we receive and tender love to our brides in a manner that as Paul shows us in Ephesians…..as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her….(Ephesians 5:25 ESV)

a question that I have been rolling around for awhile, came to light Sunday during the message, our pastor delivered that addressed the very scripture we have been living for over a year. (Ephesians 5:22-33)So ask yourself this question: "when did I march into manhood, or when did I become a man?" For those of us that have sons, how will we communicate/teach them they "have arrived" This has been cool conversation for us, as I also asked deb, "when did you feel you became a woman" I would love to hear what God lays on you….

love em up!

keep us together

over the past few days, we (debby and i) have been preparing for a weekly wednesday night class that centers it's discussion on marriage. This has been an absolute blast as over the past year, we see folks slowly start to loosen up, take off the "church mask" and share that life isn't always "fine" or ok, or good.....so this week we will start to dissect what love and respect means to us. But as i was looking up the various definitions of love in the greek language, this crazy song pops in my head....see if you remember it...

Love, love will keep us together....
Think of me babe whenever some sweet talking girl comes along....

YEA, you remember.that...I know, i know...crazy.....your welcome,you will be singing this for the rest of the evening. So i run down that trail for a bit and ask; does love really....i mean does the love that deb and i have for each other, is that really,.... do i believe that just my/our love is what will hold us together? What is that love? How deep? and then this verse came to mind.

Colossians 1:15-17 (NIV) He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation v16 For by Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth; visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him v17 He is before all things and in him all things hold together.......

And so if God is love.....love shown to us through Jesus Christ......and Jesus is the one that EVERYTHING is held together......then what holds us together is our love for Christ? So the more i understand and grasp the love, the security, the self esteem, the confidence that comes to me/us through Jesus Christ, then my/our love for each other grows?......is held together?

So back to my thought trail after the song worm....singing her song, don't mess around you just gotta be strong...

ooopss so sorry....The answer is a tremendously big YOU BETCHA YA...Thank you Jesus for loving us first and the love my bride has for You, and how that love for you overflows to me.

Do you think Captain really likes that hat? hahaha. have a fun day gang!

Welcome!

Debby here...I just wanted to thank you for visiting our blog.  Our purpose is to live in community with some that we see weekly, and others that we may never see.  Our heart is for people, marriages, and how we fit into God's big plan for us!  I learned over the weekend at the Passion Conference in Atlanta (I'm too old, but had the privilege of going with my 18 year old daughter Kinsey) that this life is not about fitting God into our lives, but wrapping our lives around His.  I've had that thinking backwards for a long time.  We lead a marriage class at our church on Wednesday nights, and so we will be using this blog to post things, issues, questions from that, but we will also be using it to request input from you. 

We started class last night, and first off, we posed the question to get couples thinking in how they would rate their marriages.

1) ER-your marriage is flatlining…no pulse…in serious need of some resurrection

2) Critical Care-you've made it to the hospital, but your marriage is in serious need of treatment…it could go either way at this point.

3) Check Up-You're just in need of a routine check-up. You are coming in to make sure everything is working. You have a few sputters and bumps, but you are taking your vitamins and actively working at your marriage.

4) Spa-it's all good…Your marriage is strong. You are communicating. Working daily at making your marriage a priority, knowing that your work is never done.

Where is your marriage?  How did it get there?  We'd love to hear from ya!
Blessings!!

First time

Mike here...so it's half time of the Texas /Alabama game and this is the first time to contribute to a blog or post a blog...so does that make us bloggers? YES...alright! Not sure how many men out there are bloggers, but guys this will be a tool for us to communicate as we learn how to lead our families through Jesus Christ